Just for Fun ....

.... I decided it was time to shift my mind from
the negative back to the positive and looked
for something to amuse myself. I've been
mulling over my blog, truly trying to figure out
it's purpose and why I love having a blog. During
that process, I decided to look back to see which
post was the most viewed post during the 5 years
I've written my blog in the blog world! Here it is:

February 15, 2013: Tiny Glow Lamp. 

This sweet little lamp generated an astonishing 410 

views. I usually average 40 to 60ish views a day.

Feeling a bit of an accomplishment for such a

tiny lamp creating such a big view count.

We still have our "tiny glow lamp" and it is

still turned on each night at dusk. Love it!!

Have you ever looked to see your most viewed post?

If so, please can you share it with us for fun?

Feeling Alone.

A warning before you read my words today. I've been hurt by words from someone in my life and my post today is reflective of my feelings. I chose a picture that is exactly how I feel .... incredibly sad, extremely hurt and frightfully alone. A fair warning so you can move on if you need to. I respect that. I'm not looking for sympathy. I just need a safe place to express these feelings so bear with me as I work through them. Thank you in advance. 

I hurt someone yesterday. Not on purpose and not with intent. A short conversation and a quick laugh with someone else was translated by text to the individual. Who then texted me in anger. Truly a misconstrued experience but even with  my heart felt apology and intense explanation, there is now silence. As I realized I needed to talk out my feelings to heal, in looking around, there was and is no one to help me through this. I'm caught in the middle of wanting to fix this mess but having no back up, no support, no direction and plain and simple, no one. How did I get to this point in my life and not realize I truly have no one? I started to talk with my dh but he immediately went to the "this is what you have to do" phase as many males will. Bless his little heart. But that mentality actually shut me down. I can't approach those who work with me as the individual in question is loved by all. And of course, I need to keep this as professional as I can. But boy does my heart hurt. I couldn't sleep and today is a big day in getting the last few items addressed by our builder. Now I'm terrified that with my lack of sleep, I'll miss something or say something incorrectly. 

To be surrounded on a daily basis by a big family, two different work teams (I have two different contracts), the public we serve, and family and friends, doesn't make sense to feel this alone. I work in a field of helping others overcome their difficult experiences. I counsel on a daily basis. And yet I'm lost in how to help myself when life gets tough. Interesting, isn't it? 

For a brief moment last night, I thought "what the hell, no one would even miss me if I wasn't here!" Yes, a true pity party. I know it's not the solution to end my life because the hurt is so great. But I'm tired, I'm confused, I'm humiliated, I'm numb, I'm backed in to a corner with no solution and most of all, I'm totally and utterly alone. 

What do you do when life is hard and you feel alone?

How do you work through tough times and find peace?

WW.

Garden Dreaming.

 We are doing a lot of dreaming about our

veggie garden at the moment. With two

landscape artists helping us plan our

layout, lots of ideas are floating around.

But the first is away until Monday and

the second is battling an infection.

So while we wait, we cruise the internet

to find our own ideas for the veggie patch.

I've always wanted to have a picket fence.

Isn't it the sweetest look and so homey.

My grandparents had a picket fence around

their property and I loved the look, even at the

young age of four years old. Now that we have

the room to design a patch, it's a dream come true!

Do you have a large garden veggie patch?

Have you always wanted a white picket fence?

There Are No Words.

Landscaping Begins.

Prior to building our new home, we've

always bought homes that needed work

and took great pride in fixing them up.

Because they were already in place,

landscaping from scratch has never been 

an experience we've had to deal with.

With our new build, the bonus this time

was we could move straight into the house

and not have to fix a thing! Love that we

move in, unpack and relax. However, now

we are faced with the task of landscaping

2 acres of land. It's both exciting and

totally terrifying all at the same time. We

had no idea where to even start and how.

Thankfully, we won a landscaping item 

at an event ~ our very own landscaping

artist, who is busy designing our plan.

She came out and spent a lovely but

rainy morning with me a few weeks

ago and has kept us in the loop in

regards to the progress of the plan she

is diligently working on. The guy we've

hired to do the actual work (at least

the items we can't tackle) also gave

us a plan, so now we'll have two to

work from. It will take a number of years

to completely finish up the ideas but

we're excited to start. One of the things

we're trying to decide is where to

place all the boulders our builder

dug up and set aside for us. You can

see the big pile in the first picture.

Many places we could use them. I

did choose my hammock spot, which

you can see in the bottom picture.

The strand of trees is just the right

distance to hang out hammock from.

Dirt now but many dreams ahead!

Rain on the Rooftop.

It's cozy tonight, wrapped in the warmth

of our home, with the rain on the rooftop ....

.... pitter pattering across the tiles ....

.... and falling over the edge to the ground below.

Floral Forest.

We had a very dry and warm Winter. 

The beginning of our Spring was hot 

and dry. Now we are being hit hard by 

storm after storm, with big rainfalls,

loud thunder and impressive (but scary)

lightening! The plus side to all this

moisture is the lush and green plants.

I just wish we had some sun as well.

How is your garden doing?

Are you receiving lots of rain?

Tiny Rosebud.

Even though we haven't landscaped our

acreage yet, we are so fortunate to have a

lovely greenscape around the house. The

land we occupy is just 2 acres, with more

than half of that forest. On our walks, we

are seeing more and more tiny native plants

that are budding now that our days are sunny

and warm. I captured this tiny rosebud that

was just about to bloom in full. This is the

Alberta Wildrose, our province's flower. I

can't believe how much of it is spread all

over our tiny little piece of heaven.

Do you have native plants in your garden?

Do you have roses that bloom each Spring?

Crazy Busy.

Ahhh!! I have no image tonight, no picture, no visual. I'm still learning to use my Mac and for whatever reason, it won't let me copy and paste a graphic to add some character to my post. So bear with me and I hope you can read this without anything to entice you to continue on. 

June is always a hectic month. Programs are ending, summer holidays are just around the corner and the deadlines are huge. I have a scrapbook to finish, a grant to write, an Annual General Meeting to prepare for (report and audited budget), goodbyes to prepare and a very long list of thank you's! It's also the month we have to schedule a visit with our builder to go over any deficiencies in the new house. Can't believe we've almost lived here for an entire year. It's also the time we start planning for fall programming so we can get our promotional materials organized. And our grieving kids daycamps are just weeks away. On top of all this, my dh may be making a career change. Which will mean tying up loose ends before he moves from one contract to the next one. Fingers crossed we can get this all done well before the deadlines and with our integrity and energy still intact at the end.

What did we do this weekend to be ahead of the game? A number of things to tackle the crazy busy list and a few extras thrown in as distractions, and they worked! Saturday morning, I worked within our grieving kids program, then after we debriefed, tidied up the classroom and gathered our things, I headed into the big city to deliver a presentation to a group of women who had invited us to a special meeting  to share our work, our passion and our future plans. It was a great opportunity and I used every moment I was given in the room. After a round of questions and discussions, they thanked me with applause and unexpectedly, an envelope full of money. I love presenting and teaching but it's even sweeter when my words can express our philosophy and intent. 

My family was still out when I got home, so I had a little time to myself, a treat after a busy day. Once they were home and we had all caught up, dh made a scrumptious dinner (chicken and veggie wraps with poppy seed dressing), we did the dishes and I cleaned up/re~ogranized the laundy room and then we decided to watch a movie (The Martian ~ very good!) while I did some work on the AGM budget and a bit of program planning. After the movie, we went up to bed to read but we both fell asleep before turning the first pages.

Today, we were up not too early, greeted by a very sunny landscape. After showering and tidying up a bit, we ventured into town to do a quick shop at Costco (yes, it's possible), then we headed over to our rental home to meet our new tenant for signing the lease. After she left, we got to work doing some of the tasks we need to complete before she moves into the house on July 1st. Our list is long but with each bit of time we can devote to it, the list is getting shorter each time. We boxed up some items still in our garage and took those to the charity shop. Tomorrow we'll be back to box up the last bits, then do some touch up painting if there is time. We also have to stop at the hardware store to pick up items that are needed before the possession date. I'm so excited we finally found the right family and hope that our gut instincts are correct. So far, so good. 

After we left the charity shop, we stopped at the grocery store to buy a small roast for dinner. One item turned into several but I'm happy we have dinner covered now for the week. When we were finally home, we put the groceries away and then did a bit of work outside. Took our garbage bin and recycling down the lane to the main subdivision road for pick up tomorrow. Watered my pots on the veranda. Came in and water my indoor plants. Re~organized the linen closet, then took quite a bit of time to re~do the pantry. Big job but it looks so good now. And truly, we won't need food for quite a while. The freezer is full, the pantry is full and even my overflow secret cupboard is full. Other than replenishing the milk later in the week, we're not hurting in the food department. 

Dinner was amazing (pork roast with poppy seed dressing, country mushroom rice and steamed veggies ~ broccoli, cauliflower and carrots), with Rolo ice cream for dessert. Yum! We watched a bit of tv, then went for a run down our lane, back in to do the dishes and then it was back to the computer to do some more paperwork. Another tidy (we like to take time each night and anytime during the day when we can, to put items away and straighten life out), we decided it was time for bed, knowing we had done all we could today and that tomorrow would be another crazy busy day!

How was your weekend?

Did your to~do list shrink?

Summer Linens.

Our love our bed! It's so cozy, so comfy.

And in the winter, full of lines for warmth.

In the summer, we keep it light and airy.

I changed out the winter bedding yesterday.

This summer's theme is white with either the

lavender linens or the pale green, depending on

the week. Nice and bright but still cozy and

comfy. Last night was hot but we were so cool.

Do you have different linens for different seasons?

What is your favorite style and color of linens?

A Big Decision.

When we first became homeowners back in 1984, the trend was neutral, natural colors ~ off whites, creams, soft browns, sage greens. Wallpaper, if used, would complement these shades, with small patterns. In that house, we had a bit of wallpaper in the main floor half bath and in the kitchen. We also did one wall in the living room, a feature wall that looked great with our furniture at the time. We lived in our first house for 4 years, birthed 2 of our children while there (our daughter, then son) and then moved to a bigger home with a garage for the next 2 years. That home was wallpapered every where and all the walls were painted crazy bold colors in every room. We spent the first few months taking down the wallpaper and repainting everything, back to soft neutral colors. Then we moved out to our beloved rural hamlet and bought a sweet house there that had white, painted walls. We decided to stay there for 2 years and used some wallpaper in the kitchen, the boys bedroom (now we had another son), our daughters bedroom, our bedroom and then a border in the hall, the living room and the dining room. Truly one of our favorite homes but in time, the lack of a garage became an issue (no storage) and we really wanted to expand our little family, so off we went in search of our next home. We found one that was going to be our next "2 year fixer upper" and we ended up living there for 24 years! The pallet when we moved in was white walls and over time, we added color (light pastels) and wallpaper borders. Fast forward to this house, our new country home and the decision to choose colored walls was incredibly stressful but one that we now love ~ a soft lavender graces our walls, with white trim and beautiful wood floors. I thought the era of wallpaper had passed but I read a blog recently where the homeowner wallpapered just the main floor half bath and now I'm hooked! The blog writer used paper on the upper half of the walls and wainscoting trim on the lower half, painted white. I'm excited to consider this option to have some additional texture to our home. Just enough, not too much.

Here's our 1/2 bath at the moment:

Here's the wallpaper I am considering

for the upper half of the walls:

Just subtle enough and encompassing

our color scheme through the house.

What do you think of this new idea?

Would you put wallpaper in your home?