July 19, 2015
My Hurting Heart.
There is only one thing in this world that is truly important to me & that is family. I feel fortunate to have created an amazing family with my dh. We have incredible kids & we look forward to many years of watching them grow, individually & as they formulate their own families. Around us, we both have very large extended families. But for whatever reason, we are often left out of family events. I'm not sure if we have done something over the years, or if our parents, with good intention possibly, would often comment on how "busy" we both were, perhaps giving the impression that we were too "busy" for outside of our own little family events. Whatever it is, we are left out & although my dh lets it roll off his back, my heart is constantly aching with the notion that we are not wanted. Tonight, as I took a few moments to scroll through Facebook, I was astonished & taken back to come across some wonderful pictures of my dh's great auntie, who just turned 100 years old this month. And the entire family was surrounding her at her celebration. The entire family was invited to spend time with her, to honor her life & her special day. Everyone, but us ....
And the suckiest part? Seeing it splashed all over FB, without a care that we would see the beautiful family shots. Sisters & brothers, aunties & uncles, son & daughters. All of them. Smiling with love for the camera. Big happy family.
My dh is always the brave one, the voice of reason, the one who doesn't worry about such acts. I am the one who wants to curl up in a corner & weep. Rejection is not my strong asset! We'll weather this, as we have all the other times we were left out. We'll wonder what we did (or didn't) do. We'll wish we could post something awful on FB, but we won't. We'll smile & pretend it doesn't hurt. But in reality, it's harsh, unfair & so thoughtless. A hurt I promise to never inflict on anyone. I couldn't do this to someone else.
What do you do when you are incredibly hurt?
Do you let it go? Or speak your heart?