About Me

September 30, 2016

On My MInd for Awhile.

I read a lot of blogs, every day, throughout the day. Some of my favorites are listed on the right side of my blog, but some I haven't added yet and just google them each day. Others I find when I do a search while eating lunch or waiting for a client. It's something I love to do and really keeps me grounded in so many ways. 

But ....

I bet you knew there would be a BUT!

Yes, but .... I have to confess, I feel a bit out of place in the vast Blogland that I so cherish and participate in daily and this has been on my mind a lot lately. Like, really, quite a bit. Enough to have me ponder it at night and think about it during the day.

If you've read this far, you may now be wondering what my quandary is. So now I'll spill my thoughts and try to make sense of how I feel. Feel free to continue on if you'd like. It could get a bit messy .... and please know, this is not a complaint about how others live, just a observation of my own life and why I may not fit in to the trends that others have embraced.

I grew up with parents who were teens when I was born. They committed to making their little family work and a few years after I was born, my brother arrived. Perfect little family, one of each and lovely parents. It was hard and I truly remember both the good and the bad. I know we had very little money to start and we lived in a series of small basement apartments at first. Then one day, my dad was able to scrape enough money together to put a down payment on a property to buy a real house and that was the turning point. We moved constantly so that they could gain equity and in time, my dad loved the process so much, he became a realtor, then in later an owner/broker. They carved an amazing life  as they continued to move up the status ladder but kept their roots close. Through all this, my mom was very conscious of what we had and what we didn't have, our needs and our wants. We lived sparsely, really an early version of being minimalists. But I will confess, I always felt that our homes, as lovely as they were, really were not "homey" or warm. Walls were always painted white, (one house even had white carpet ~ oh, the horror!!) we weren't allowed to hang up anything, except a few key pieces of abstract art my parents acquired over time. No color, no personality. I suppose it was easy to keep tidy and clean but from a young age, I would gaze out the window at everyone else's homes and wonder why I always wanted to go visiting. Even now, as an adult, I love driving down streets at night, when inside lights are on and you can peek into the lives of the homeowners. I suppose that's one thing that I love about blogging ~ a chance to see what it is like for others in their own homes, far away but close enough to feel connected. Fun on cold winter nights.


This is where I feel like I don't quite fit in. My true confession .... I'm not a minimalist and I personally don't have any desire to be. I admire those that can really embrace the lifestyle. I'm not a hoarder by any means and I regularly donate to our local charity shop. But truth be told, I love to have a home that is warm, comfy and gives us the freedom to enjoy the activities we love. This means we do have stuff, or as some say "collections" that they possess. I like that, along with "treasures" ~ a term we use when we take some time to visit our local Antique Mall or the charity shop. I guess at this time in my life, I feel like I'm not measuring up because I'm not into giving away all my worldly possessions and moving in to tiny house. We started with a very tiny house for the first 4 years of our marriage (before children), then a bit bigger house with a garage, then the same size but different community, then the house we lived in for 24 years and then finally this house that we personally designed and built from the ground up. We could actually fit our first house into this current house 2.5 times. Does this make me a bad person? Am I so far out in left field that my blog will never be interesting to others because I'm not focusing on some of the topics that do fit the current trends? Is it wrong to love our space and our treasures, in addition to our healthy, our family, our careers and our passions? I'd so love to know as it's a wonder in my brain. To be fair, our home doesn't just house the 2 of us but also our daughters and our grandson and guests who sometimes stay with us. It provides us space for our creativity in our various art mediums that we have been gifted with. It gives us space for meetings, space for writing, space for family dinners and gatherings. We've always lived in tight quarters until now. For this last half of our lives, treating ourselves to more space didn't require a debt load, although for now, we do have a bit of a mortgage, something we were done with previously. We'll pay it off before we move again and maybe by then, we'll be ready to downsize. I'm loving the space to breathe, to spread out, to create and to have privacy.

Because of the nature of my job, my passion, I give, give, give, give all day long. Coming home to this amazing sanctuary is almost like a reward for the compassionate care I, along with my team, provide on a daily basis. Maybe that's not the right term but that's the only way I can describe it.

Our space is not crowded and I often rotate items so that it's not all squished together. I store items for seasons and bring them in for that time and then they go back to storage. Maybe I have a bit of minimalism in me ~ I love clearing out cupboards and drawers and recycling! Maybe I'm in the middle between the two ideals. But the truth is, I love my house that is not a tiny house and I love the sweet items we've gathered over the years. And although I feel like I'm supposed to apologize for being in this space and place, maybe it's not an issue. I hope this doesn't make me a terrible person in any way, 'cause really, I'm quite lovely!

So that's the quandary in my head and my heart. I'm not sure if I need to re~examine how we live or if we need to even go there. I'm not sure if I'm out to lunch because I haven't embraced the minimalist life or if some of us are just not needing to go there. Whatever the right answer is, I hope in time it comes to me so I can make peace with what the heck I'm supposed to to do with all these conflicting thoughts circulating in my already full brain! That's all, on a rainy Friday night.

Do you ever feel like you don't quite fit in to the trends?
How do you live your life, your way, without worry?

14 comments:

Joy@aVintageGreen said...

You are living the life you worked hard to create, you are sharing with family and friends, you need a place to unwind and to work on your creativity. I enjoy reading your posts, learning from your thoughts and ideas. Be you, enjoy your now. Don't go away. Hugs.
Joy

Anne in the kitchen said...

You are living the life that is right for you. Our home is large, in fact, it is too large for us now, and I am getting rid of a lot of excess (in some areas) and keeping or adding more in others. I am a dish freak and just could not be content without my dishes. Right now I have at least 6 sets of everyday plus 3 sets of china. I love them and use them regularly and feel no compulsion about explaining them to anyone

I think tiny houses are cute and know I would suffocate in one. TheHub and I plan to downsize, but we are talking about downsizing to one level not tiny home. We still want to have room for the entire clan when they gather for Thanksgiving or Christmas, and wherever we go has to have room for my piano and a dining table for 14. I applaud anyone who embraces a minimalist life, but I know it is not for me.

Be whatever makes you happy! p.s. your home is lovely!

TrayceeBee said...

I recently found your blog and have been loving your posts! And, I am going to agree with the other commenters, you need to continue just being you! Your posts are uplifting and charming and will draw like minded people to you! If someone is going to judge you for having a larger house or more things that what is considered to be trending at the moment than they can move on to blogs that focus on that!
I know how hard the doubt can feel though.... I fail a LOT frugally but I keep getting back up, trying, and posting about it. Awhile back someone blasted me for messing up my grocery budget again while my husband was laid off. She literally zeroed in on the store bought croissants (priced usually around $3/6 croissants) I bought for my extremely picky daughter and told me to stop buying such fancy food. She went on to complain about other stuff I did as well like feeding my daughter's friends dinner when they were at our house until 7pm one night. And, I'm not going to lie it stung...badly! I almost shut my blog down for good. I felt like a farce and didn't deserve to be posting anything on the internet. But, after some soul searching I decided to keep going with the blog and who I am....
Which brings me back to your post...
Continue being you and try to squash the self doubt! There are many people who appreciate you and what your blog uniquely brings!
Hugs!

Lorrie said...

I'll just echo what your other comments are saying - be yourself. Don't worry about the trends. All blogs are not minimalist. Enjoy your life.

Liliana said...

I think we all had our moments of rebellion or feel like we don't belong there. We don't fit this world at all! We came into wildness at birth!

Chy said...

Oh thank you Joy for your kind words. Don't worry! I have no plans to go away!!

Chy said...

Anne, I love that you collect china too. One of my favorite things to look for when we're at the Antique Mall or the charity shop. Thank you for your thoughts. So helpful!

Chy said...

Welcome TrayceeBee! Your comments are so appreciated. I'm off to read your blog too! It looks amazing. Thank you for visiting.

Chy said...

Thank you Lorrie. I am really seeing today that I don't need to follow trends to be a blog writer. I have to remind myself sometimes that I am unique and authentic!

Chy said...

So true Liliana! Thank you for sharing. I love your comments!

Penny said...

Chy, you would feel right at home in my house! I am not a minimalist in any way either, and I love my treasures. For any blog to 'succeed' if that word even applies to blogs, it is essential that the voice of the blogger is true and genuine, as yours is. I think your blog is just lovely, sweet, insightful and varied. Perfect. X

Chy said...

Ah, thank you so much Penny. I've learned through this experience of wonder that I am just where I need to be and that my blog does need to continue to be a reflection of the true me, not what I think it's supposed to be! I so appreciate everyone's comments and am feeling so light today! X

Linda said...

All this minimalism stuff just annoys me. It is too sterile, void of personality or our prized possessions. I need room to sew. I need things out to make me happy. I do try hard not to have clutter and usually succeed. Kon Marie is not for me.
Practical Parsimony

Chy said...

Thanks for sharing your thoughts Linda. I so appreciate your visit! X Chy