Which is worse?

Being "unfriended" on Facebook?

Or having someone delete their name off my list of followers? A faithful reader, now lost forever.

Ouch! Well, I've been unfriended on Facebook and now I've been deleted from a follower. And I didn't like either. But for some reason, being deleted by a blog reader feels a whole lot worse to me than being unfriended on a social media site. 

Not sure if it was my post on being, finally, after all these years, mortgage free. Or maybe it's my not so great photography skills. Boring posts? Not great fonts or graphics? My sunny disposition? My whiney complaints? Too few posts? Too many?

A short note to say "hey, I don't like your blog anymore" would have at least given me a reason why and a chance to fix whatever turned that person off. Now I can't fix whatever the issue was, as I don't know what it was!

I'm sorry to the person who decided to delete me. But thank you for the time you were here. Perhaps, our blogs will cross paths again in the future!

Mortgage Free!

I recently read an article from the U.S. that stated that Mortgage Burning Parties had fallen by the way side. And that it wasn't kosher to tell anyone you were mortgage free in this economy, that it is kin to bragging and making others feel worthless. So please excuse my next few lines if you will feel offended in any way. I will offer a sincere apology in advance. 

We are very excited to be just 4 days away from being Mortgage Free! To celebrate, we are having just our family over tomorrow for a burning of the mortgage papers ~ copies but with all the pertinent info on them. Having worked so hard all these years to get to this day, never once missing a payment, always paying more than the set amount so we could get out of it sooner, sacrificing but never feeling house poor, just lucky to be here, we felt it did deserve a regal celebration. Ice cream cake and coolers all around!! Maybe beer for dh!!

It is a relief to have this phase of our life done with. Yes, we are building a new house but the equity in this house and the savings we've accumulated should cover most of the build. If we run over, our plan is a line of credit that would be done quite quickly. This has always been and will always only be our only debt. We did it! Looking forward to lighting these special papers and watching the hot embers burn off into the cool night sky. 

Have you had a celebration 

to mark a financial milestone?

Big Decisions.

Spring has finally arrived! The grass is green, trees are budding and the dirt has become swallowed up by the color of tiny flowers pushing their way across the landscape. A beautiful time of year, full of renewal and promise. An inspiring and favorite phase for me.



 

My world has become vibrant again with the sound of bird song and motorcycles. Yet, during this season of birth and newness, I am bogged down with big decisions. My beloved job is suddenly not stable and there is pressure to move in directions that I'm not comfortable going towards. It's not fear, more of a stubbornness that the plan I've carved out is being questioned and tossed out the door without reasonable investigation. A fight may be brewing but until then, I ponder my options and begin to plan for pulling back programming, against my will.

 

 

The beauty of this short season is enough, for now, to keep me uplifted. My hope is that by the end of spring, there will be a more concrete structure for growth and stability. Or plan B will need to be executed!!

The Best Day Ever!

 

Today was the Best Day Ever! After a bit of a rough week both emotionally and physically, it was so lovely to wake up today to a bright, sunny sky & a warm Earth. Green buds are finally appearing and the birds sing all day long. Definitely makes the spirit feel lighter.

 

I normally don't work in the office on Fridays but today went in as I had a big presentation to do for Mental Health Week. Finished up a few last minute preparations, took some time to hand in my expenses, wrote up and submitted a bunch of invoices for counselling and group sessions, chatted with our ED about the path I want to take to embark on with the centre, then headed over to the high school to chat with a great group of kids who had signed up for my session. Engaged kids, a presentation that went smoother than I envisioned and the unexpected reward of a gift card at the end made it worth all the work to put it together.

 

Came home to start packing my suitcase. My mom and I are off to the coast tomorrow to visit with family and honor my uncle who died last week. A sad occasion but one we were expecting. I am looking forward to seeing our two sons and their families, especially our little grandchild Lua! A friend popped in with more moving boxes for us, then I headed over to our centre to tidy about the office and make sure I could go away without any pressing tasks to be handled. Visited with my staff, then headed over to the hall for the Family Dance to set up. Our grandson had a great time pushing chairs up to the tables and setting out the balloons. Went home to get dressed up, then we spent the next few hours visiting the families who came out, danced with our little guy and our girls, ate some great food and bid on three auction items, which we won! This event went so well, with more than double the number of families this year compared to last and we made money!!

 

After cleaning up, we came home to tidy the house and finish packing my suitcase. I did laundry, swept the floors, put away all the paperwork, did the recycling and paid the bills. Now I'm ready to leave, with my world in order and the sun shining on the coast.

 

Was today the best day ever for you?

My Mother Heart.

Today is International Bereaved Mother's Day. A day to celebrate and honor the brave, courageous and spirited mothers who have said goodbye to their precious babies, many before they got to say hello.

My name is Chy and I have a Mother Heart. Today, I miss our son Bretton-Elijah Lucas, our daughter Ciara-Rose Kennedi and all six of the tiny babies we lost too early. My heart is full of love for the children we were gifted to raise to adulthood: Chelsea-Danielle Kathleen, Brady-Kahil Liam, Brodie-Joshua Kylie and Chynna-Jade Lyric. My heart is full of gratitude for the love of my life, Bill - a.k.a. Bear - who allows me the freedom to grieve, create and express my journey, without judgement and with unconditional love and support. My heart is full of sweetness for the two little souls who have graced our lives, captured our hearts and made us grandparents: Beckett William and Lua Oak. And my heart is full of sorrow with the knowledge that our family will always be incomplete, we will always grieve and we will never know our babies as children, teens and adults. Forever, they remain a dream, a wish and a longing hope in our hearts.

To all the Bereaved Mama's I have been blessed to meet over the last 18 years, today, I hold you in my heart as you remember with love, your sweet babies. May your day be filled with family love, gracious wishes and heartfelt hugs. 

Today, do you have a Mother Heart?

Defining Moments.

When my boyfriend asked me to marry him, I became a fiance, a defining moment in my life. From this sweet time on, I would have a life partner, someone to share the rest of my journey with. A true love, with all the ups and downs to come our way.

When my boyfriend asked me to marry him, we became a committed couple.

When I birthed our first child, I became a mother, another monumental defining moment in my life. At 4:12 a.m., I was a married woman, without many responsibilities. At 4:14 a.m., I was suddenly but thankfully a mother, with a tiny baby in my arms who was totally dependent on me. Forever, I would now be known as a mother.

When I birthed our first child, I became a mother and we became a family, together for a lifetime.

When our son died in my arms, without warning, I went from being a carefree, confident mother to a weeping, anxious bereaved parent. Forever changed and now clearly defined as a griever, life long, without a vacation to have a break from the tears.

When our son died in my arms, without warning, we became a grieving family, forever.

When I chose to write about my experiences of life and loss, and began to dabble in art as an expression to unleash my creativity, I became an artist, using a random process of mixed media to define my craft. An artist who had a story to tell with a forum to use. Defining in opening a part of my character, my being, that had been hidden and stuffed down, from shame as a child for not staying in the lines and using the colors the teacher expected.

When I became an artist, I began to live again.

We all have defining moments in our lives. It shapes who we were, who we are and who we become.

What are the defining moments that have 
shaped who you have become today?

Sugar and Spice ....

 .... and everything nice!

We found this cute sign at the Antique Mall last week. Perfect for our new guestroom, which will be done in shades of soft pinks and greens. A very girly and frilly room all around. I can't wait!!

Spring inside the house!

Spring is slow to bloom outside.

But it's alive and well inside the house!

Pretty, fragrant tulips given to me on Friday.

Still blooming pretty on Tuesday.

Facing the warm sun streaming in the window.

Anxiously, we wait for the buds of spring

to bloom outside. Little signs have started

and soon our world will be green again!