Cozy Teddy.

Isn't this the sweetest? Dh set up our bed for when I come home from surgery tomorrow. The last time I had surgery, I was 18 years old. Actually, it was my birthday. Not quite the birthday gift I had hoped for. But I was surrounded by family and friends, and well taken care of. It was a bit traumatic as my appendix burst, and my pain was different, so for 24 hours, the doctors in emergency didn't know it was my appendix. They decided to bring in a surgeon to do some "exploratory surgery" but when they started, they realized my appendix was the culprit and for hours, I had had infection running through my body. To this day, I'm still so thankful that they were able to combat this and my life was spared. We were told another hour or 2 and I likely would have developed a dangerous Sepsis. Lucky indeed. My only other surgery outside of this one event was a simple operation to remove my tonsils at the age of 4. Easy peasy, except for the very dismissive and aggressive older nurse who decided once I was awake, shoving banana into my mouth and making me swallow, when I was very loud in sharing that I'm deadly allergic to banana's. My protests were met with force and I ended up having a life threatening allergic reaction. So that was traumatic. I've managed for all these years to avoid any other surgeries but tomorrow, I'll be put to sleep for a surgery that will greatly impact my life, in a very positive way. I've put it off for too long and it's now or never. But I'm full of anxiety as the hours tick by. Scared, no let me rephrase that, terrified to be put to sleep. What if I don't wake up? What if the surgery failes? What if I choke when I wake up? Will someone try to shove mashed bananas down my raw throat? What if, what if, what if?? Oh, the anxiety ....

My surgeon asked if I had negotiated a leave from work so I can comfortably recuperate as long as needed. I'm so thankful to be in the position I'm in now, and not even having to ask for time off has been a blessing in disguise. I'm going to take the time needed so I heal well and don't have any after effects. Dh and the girls keep teasing me that they're not going to do anything other than tease me, though I suspect they are joking .... I hope! I am quite independent, so if they do stick to their words, I'll be just fine. No need for pampering for this mama. But I do have a bit of hope, with dh's actions in setting up the bed so nicely for my return home. Wish me luck as I embark on this new and for me, terrifying experience. I'll update asap. Goodnight!

~ Chy