About Me

June 27, 2016

Just for Fun ....

.... I decided it was time to shift my mind from
the negative back to the positive and looked
for something to amuse myself. I've been
mulling over my blog, truly trying to figure out
it's purpose and why I love having a blog. During
that process, I decided to look back to see which
post was the most viewed post during the 5 years
I've written my blog in the blog world! Here it is:

This sweet little lamp generated an astonishing 410 
views. I usually average 40 to 60ish views a day.
Feeling a bit of an accomplishment for such a
tiny lamp creating such a big view count.
We still have our "tiny glow lamp" and it is
still turned on each night at dusk. Love it!!

Have you ever looked to see your most viewed post?
If so, please can you share it with us for fun?

June 23, 2016

Feeling Alone.

A warning before you read my words today. I've been hurt by words from someone in my life and my post today is reflective of my feelings. I chose a picture that is exactly how I feel .... incredibly sad, extremely hurt and frightfully alone. A fair warning so you can move on if you need to. I respect that. I'm not looking for sympathy. I just need a safe place to express these feelings so bear with me as I work through them. Thank you in advance. 

I hurt someone yesterday. Not on purpose and not with intent. A short conversation and a quick laugh with someone else was translated by text to the individual. Who then texted me in anger. Truly a misconstrued experience but even with  my heart felt apology and intense explanation, there is now silence. As I realized I needed to talk out my feelings to heal, in looking around, there was and is no one to help me through this. I'm caught in the middle of wanting to fix this mess but having no back up, no support, no direction and plain and simple, no one. How did I get to this point in my life and not realize I truly have no one? I started to talk with my dh but he immediately went to the "this is what you have to do" phase as many males will. Bless his little heart. But that mentality actually shut me down. I can't approach those who work with me as the individual in question is loved by all. And of course, I need to keep this as professional as I can. But boy does my heart hurt. I couldn't sleep and today is a big day in getting the last few items addressed by our builder. Now I'm terrified that with my lack of sleep, I'll miss something or say something incorrectly. 

To be surrounded on a daily basis by a big family, two different work teams (I have two different contracts), the public we serve, and family and friends, doesn't make sense to feel this alone. I work in a field of helping others overcome their difficult experiences. I counsel on a daily basis. And yet I'm lost in how to help myself when life gets tough. Interesting, isn't it? 

For a brief moment last night, I thought "what the hell, no one would even miss me if I wasn't here!" Yes, a true pity party. I know it's not the solution to end my life because the hurt is so great. But I'm tired, I'm confused, I'm humiliated, I'm numb, I'm backed in to a corner with no solution and most of all, I'm totally and utterly alone. 

What do you do when life is hard and you feel alone?
How do you work through tough times and find peace?

June 18, 2016

Garden Dreaming.

 We are doing a lot of dreaming about our
veggie garden at the moment. With two
landscape artists helping us plan our
layout, lots of ideas are floating around.

But the first is away until Monday and
the second is battling an infection.

So while we wait, we cruise the internet
to find our own ideas for the veggie patch.

I've always wanted to have a picket fence.
Isn't it the sweetest look and so homey.

My grandparents had a picket fence around
their property and I loved the look, even at the
young age of four years old. Now that we have
the room to design a patch, it's a dream come true!

Do you have a large garden veggie patch?
Have you always wanted a white picket fence?

June 12, 2016

There Are No Words.

Landscaping Begins.

Prior to building our new home, we've
always bought homes that needed work
and took great pride in fixing them up.
Because they were already in place,
landscaping from scratch has never been 
an experience we've had to deal with.

With our new build, the bonus this time
was we could move straight into the house
and not have to fix a thing! Love that we
move in, unpack and relax. However, now
we are faced with the task of landscaping
2 acres of land. It's both exciting and
totally terrifying all at the same time. We
had no idea where to even start and how.

Thankfully, we won a landscaping item 
at an event ~ our very own landscaping
artist, who is busy designing our plan.
She came out and spent a lovely but
rainy morning with me a few weeks
ago and has kept us in the loop in
regards to the progress of the plan she
is diligently working on. The guy we've
hired to do the actual work (at least
the items we can't tackle) also gave
us a plan, so now we'll have two to
work from. It will take a number of years
to completely finish up the ideas but
we're excited to start. One of the things
we're trying to decide is where to
place all the boulders our builder
dug up and set aside for us. You can
see the big pile in the first picture.
Many places we could use them. I
did choose my hammock spot, which
you can see in the bottom picture.
The strand of trees is just the right
distance to hang out hammock from.
Dirt now but many dreams ahead!

June 8, 2016

Rain on the Rooftop.

It's cozy tonight, wrapped in the warmth
of our home, with the rain on the rooftop ....

.... pitter pattering across the tiles ....

.... and falling over the edge to the ground below.

Floral Forest.

We had a very dry and warm Winter. 
The beginning of our Spring was hot 
and dry. Now we are being hit hard by 
storm after storm, with big rainfalls,
loud thunder and impressive (but scary)
lightening! The plus side to all this
moisture is the lush and green plants.
I just wish we had some sun as well.

How is your garden doing?
Are you receiving lots of rain?